Well, the first night, while it involved henna, was not the real henna party. The first night is actually the night the marriage contract is signed by the men of both sides, along with an Iman and male witnesses. The men are also fed a meal while the women are quietly (hahah) waiting in another room. Then it is the scene I described in my first post.
The second evening, a little dressier than the first, we all gather again, women and men in seperate locations. Because this is a wedding involving families who live on Dal Lake and own houseboats, there is also a large rented barge which serves as the dining hall. As the women arrive, shoes are removed and they quickly choose the most advantageous spots for sitting during what will be a long evening, and night. Back to the wall is preferred. In this case, the wall is really a sheet hanging over the open space of the side of the barge. Still it offers more support and much better viewing than back to the middle of the room.
A meal which has been cooking all day,on open fires on the small piece of land, is served to us by the men. We women and children form two lines, seated cross-legged and facing each other, in groups of four. First, a large ewer of water and a elaborate basin are carried through the lines, for each woman to wash her right hand. Then a long cloth is rolled out between us to serve as our "table". Next, a chain line of men, hands forward from the outdoor kitchen, large platters of rice, garnished in an X with the first of the mutton dishes, which is mainly juice and small meaty tidbits. The X marks our 4 eating sections as this is a communal platter. Gleefully the women dig in, mixing rice and the juices with their fingers. As the meal progresses, the chefs bring in and dole out, various preparations of mutton, usually one chicken dish, and palak or spinach. After we have eaten our fill, water is offered to drink, then again, a chain line of men remove the platters and roll up the cloth. Finally water is again offered from the ewer for hand washing.
Meal done, women scramble up for mattresses which have been piled in the corner. They are spread around the edges of the room. Families tend to congregate together, sisters, aunts, mothers and children. Talk is a big part of these events, which are, really, like any wedding anywhere, family reunions.
As we get settled in, young children fade, and are covered with blankets or a second mattress (a thin cotton quilt). Older girls gather in groups and chat animatedly. Older women, sit back, toothpicks in hand, and survey the scene.
It is about 11 pm. The musicians arrive. A group of men, bearing hand drums, harmonium, and other Kashmiri stringed instruments. Plus microphones and amplifier. They squeeze into one end of the hall. For the next several hours, until morning, they will entertain with Sufi music and traditional Kashmiri songs.
The second evening, a little dressier than the first, we all gather again, women and men in seperate locations. Because this is a wedding involving families who live on Dal Lake and own houseboats, there is also a large rented barge which serves as the dining hall. As the women arrive, shoes are removed and they quickly choose the most advantageous spots for sitting during what will be a long evening, and night. Back to the wall is preferred. In this case, the wall is really a sheet hanging over the open space of the side of the barge. Still it offers more support and much better viewing than back to the middle of the room.
A meal which has been cooking all day,on open fires on the small piece of land, is served to us by the men. We women and children form two lines, seated cross-legged and facing each other, in groups of four. First, a large ewer of water and a elaborate basin are carried through the lines, for each woman to wash her right hand. Then a long cloth is rolled out between us to serve as our "table". Next, a chain line of men, hands forward from the outdoor kitchen, large platters of rice, garnished in an X with the first of the mutton dishes, which is mainly juice and small meaty tidbits. The X marks our 4 eating sections as this is a communal platter. Gleefully the women dig in, mixing rice and the juices with their fingers. As the meal progresses, the chefs bring in and dole out, various preparations of mutton, usually one chicken dish, and palak or spinach. After we have eaten our fill, water is offered to drink, then again, a chain line of men remove the platters and roll up the cloth. Finally water is again offered from the ewer for hand washing.
Meal done, women scramble up for mattresses which have been piled in the corner. They are spread around the edges of the room. Families tend to congregate together, sisters, aunts, mothers and children. Talk is a big part of these events, which are, really, like any wedding anywhere, family reunions.
As we get settled in, young children fade, and are covered with blankets or a second mattress (a thin cotton quilt). Older girls gather in groups and chat animatedly. Older women, sit back, toothpicks in hand, and survey the scene.
It is about 11 pm. The musicians arrive. A group of men, bearing hand drums, harmonium, and other Kashmiri stringed instruments. Plus microphones and amplifier. They squeeze into one end of the hall. For the next several hours, until morning, they will entertain with Sufi music and traditional Kashmiri songs.
While they are playing, the real henna party begins. The bride is brought forth, and esconced on a carpet and cushions. She is very elaborately dressed now, in traditional Kashmiri wedding costume. Female relatives surround her and sing, then boxes of cake are brought forth from every family. Then the cake is distributed to the rest of us around the room.
For the next several hours, from her hands to her elbows, and her feet to her knees, the bride is painted with intricate designs. For the duration of this, she is bascially unable to move as the henna takes some time to dry and the least movement may smudge the design. Torture. Around her, the young girls are also decorating themselves. When it is done (about 4 in the morning), they help her to lay back. All around the room, I see young women falling asleep with their hands held up to the sky.
All the while the muscians have been playing and singing, with only small breaks for chai and a smoke. Now, the dancing begins. Garbed in a long dress type garment, one of the troupe begins to dance, each ankle swathed in bells. He performs classic dance moves I have seen used by many women belly dancers. Some of the men have come in and join him for a bit. It seems the women don't dance but I know they'd like to, for when the opportunity for tipping the band comes, many of them do it, by asking the dancer to spin them, before handing him their money.
Even as this exuberance is happening, on mattresses everywhere, women and children sleep. They will stay until morning, be served chai and they will head home for a few hours of sleep before the third set of festivities begins. I lasted until 5 am. Left as the mosque calls were beginning to sound. The muscians were gearing up for another round and a second dancer was starting.
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